Episode 12: Routines, Chaos Buffers, and Why Your To-Do List Is a Hydra

Matt and Erin dig into the everyday architecture of autistic life — routines, habits, systems, and the sacred chaos buffers that keep us from falling completely apart when the coffee runs out. We unpack why neurotypical “just make it a habit” advice fails us, how to tell the difference between Herculean and Sisyphean tasks, and why living well often means burning the rulebook (and maybe the lawn mower).

We cover:

• The fragility of “The Order” and how a missing step can nuke your whole day

• Menu vs. strict-sequence systems (and why both are valid)

• Externalizing executive function with whiteboards, magnets, and chaos-time planning

• Rejecting useless expectations (separating laundry by color, wearing socks, ironing, etc.)

• Sensory preferences as valid life-design choices

• Internalized ableism and the lie that you “should” try harder

• Settling for good enough, baby steps, and wobbling toward your goals

Also: Dino nuggies as the pinnacle of predictable joy, clover lawns for zero mowing, Peppa Pig house tours, and why Marie Kondo changed her tune after having kids.